What Does it Mean to Sexualize Someone?

Let’s Talk about Not Sexualizing People

I realize many times comments like “I dream of you doing me” or “I wish you could slide that deep inside me” or “I need to come to California and we can get together” are playful. But please understand that I (and most women) do not appreciate receiving these comments. They make me (and most women) feel uncomfortable. I am not laughing (nor do most women).

I get sexualized a lot because I talk/write freely about sex and my kinks (common problem as a sex educator) and I also post fetching pics of myself. But my articles and pics are not invitations for anyone to sexualize me. They are an expression of my sexuality (the cool thing the internet, and Fetlife, specifically, offers us), not an invitation.

Let me try to explain the difference: I will listen to stories about your sexual experiences, I will answer specific questions you have about bdsm/pegging, I will even give you advice on how to talk to your partner about bdsm/pegging. Here’s where things can take a wrong turn…

The moment you start talking about doing anything sexual with me, it pisses me off, because that is sexualizing me, and we do not even know each other.

I don’t care how far away from me you live, or to what extent you meant it purely as a joke, those types of comments ALL feel uncomfortable to receive. Please…